Futaba's Fancies

Roles

Something odd I do to myself is convince myself that I’m not really a ______. The fill in the blank includes things like singer, dancer, musician, painter, reader, storyteller, actor…even to a point roles like daughter, sister, friend, person… (sometimes I am convinced I’m only a figment of my own imagination).

And I don’t know why I do that. Maybe because if I were to take ownership of a title, I’d have to fulfill it, and the problem is, I still doubt my actual ability in a lot of those things. Like, I’m not REALLY a musician because I can’t sight read sheet music on the piano very well, or I’m not REALLY a reader because I’m just now reading Harry Potter…

But that helps no one. And I AM all those things. So here’s to getting over myself and flat-out taking responsibility and a little dignity in the things I am capable of doing. I mean, really.

— 2 days ago with 1 note
A slice of humble pie

A lot of college has been me getting over myself. Good thing, I’d say. Onward I go.

— 6 days ago
People

It’s difficult for me to fall in love and at the same time it’s very very easy.

I see people and sometimes I am lucky enough to see the peopleness in them, they’re such PEOPLE, like you’re such a person and I see it and I fall in love.

I realize I’ve fallen in love with so many humans, fully-fleshed and existing in the way I do, in this universe, trying to experience and explore. My friends, my mentors, my peers.

I’m such a goddamn romantic.

— 1 week ago with 4 notes